1/28/06 - nightmares & head pain

January 28, 2006 - Saturday

7:13 PM - nightmares Current mood: restless Just woke up after a 2 1/2 hour nap--a well-deserved one, I might add for the benefit of all you anti-lazy folk. My sleep was riddled with terrible nightmares. One of the last sensations was of me grabbing my mom by the back of the head: she was supposed to give my sister & me a ride somewhere but left us, maybe because we were running late. I chased after her and realized that she was in a car full of friends, not interested at all in having us in tow. I grabbed for her and vividly felt my hands graze the bottom of her hair, feeling & hearing it rip out as the open-air car rolled off down the street and away from me. She was laughing with her friends and didn't look back. I wish this had been all, but really my unrelaxing rest was brimming with horrific, realistic images. I don't feel rested at all and instead feel on-edge, suspecting that these sentiments and sensations will haunt me for the rest of the evening.

2:04 AM - owww, part II. Another weekend night o' head pain, but I muddled through and had a blast out with Tamara & Nancy, going to the Manhattan & eventually to Little Kings for a bit of a dance party where I did not dance. I am keeping up with my mundane "migraine journal" moderately well but can't seem to pinpoint why I have had extra pain for the last couple of weeks. It could very well be that I have simply re-entered school mode, where I have my daily headache but to a more persistent & noticeable degree than I have it during vacation times. In any case, I'm sick of it, but thinking of other friends' (and strangers', I suppose) health issues, I realize that I have things pretty good. That being said, I wish I could go out and not have the loud music make my brain throb and not have a whiff of cigarette smoke make my brain feel as if it has a knife sticking through its left side. Tomorrow there's a full day of Ropes activities for me--a training day, so I can't make the bucks I made today. I look forward to it. I wonder why I wrote this instead of just going to bed when I'm so tempted to bitch about how tired I am. J. Evelyn rarely makes sense, even to herself. Words to live by. Currently listening : No Need to Argue By Cranberries Release date: 04 October, 1994