I want to be a part of BA, Buenos Aires--BIG APPLE

Oh, it was probably a mistake to sing that song. Now it's going to be in my head for hours. Ick.

All that is to say that I'm returning to Buenos Aires for the first time since I studied abroad there in spring 2001 (that's pre-economic crisis, folks). It was one of the best, most rewarding, and most challenging times of my life. It is my belief that the majority of traveling students feel that way about study abroad programs.

When I got to Bs. As., I was a month away from my 21st birthday and spoke not two licks of Spanish. (Granted, I could say "Hola," which I thought was spelled O-L-A, and I could say one extraordinarily rude thing that didn't sound so bad translated into English.) The first full day I was there, I was STARVING and had no idea how I could go eat. I went to a neighborhood store and pointed to an orange juice container (something familiar!) and perhaps a pack of crackers. Smiled a lot to show my gratitude. Ate the snack and was still hungry.

One of my randomly assigned roommates was a hot young thing from Columbia (that's the university, not Colombia the country). She was confident, funny, smart, and (joy of joys) Spanish-speaking! She took me to a restaurant we found around the corner from our place and ordered for me after translating the menu items.

photo courtesy of Arturo Vasquez, random guy I found on Google Images search

I met so many friends there, started feeling more excited and open-minded about my life (which had recently gotten sort of bland and sad for me, friends and loved ones living away from NYC or moving to other countries). A semester in BA was exactly what the doctor ordered. Since my mid-May 2001 departure, I've been daydreaming about returning. I've spent hours upon hours looking at maps of the city and poring over my photos of gorgeous buildings, lush parks, charming little plazoletas.

Am I very different from the Janet that landed at the Buenos Aires international airport almost exactly eight years ago? Perhaps. Do I want the same things out of this trip as I did the last one? No.

I'm going to try really hard not to annoy my traveling buddies with tales of people they've never met; I'm going to make the effort to keep those old stories to myself (and perhaps email them to former fellow students of the ill-fated first edition of NYU in Buenos Aires). I don't want to relive the long nights I spent drinking too much tummy-expanding Quilmes dancing with friends.

What I'm most excited about is strolling down the beautiful streets, wandering through the parks, soaking up the energy of the city. (Oh you sweet, sweet cliches--keep on keepin' on!) I want to shake myself awake a bit and be somewhere where I'm not entirely comfortable. I want to practice my Spanish and have a lot of alone time. I want to drink wine in a park-side cafe with Liz and Chris and Sweet.

I'll be gone for a month--just cashed in my SkyMiles today for the plane ticket. I'm so, so happy. I'm at the point in my life where this makes sense: my job can be done from anywhere I have internet access, I have some money saved for an apartment and living expenses, and I have the time. It just so happens that one of my dear friends will already be down there (Chris is spending 3 months in Argentina); it just so happens that two of my best friends will be taking turns sharing my adorable apartment with me. Sigh. I feel like a girl with a big ol' crush that makes her smile to herself all the time.

dreaming of Dawson

Right before waking this morning, I had a dream in which the faces from a Dawson's Creek poster started moving and speaking from the poster--and then they hopped off and went to the laundromat and pontificated on everything (of course). The real poster, I've found, is of normal color--in my dream, it was sepia and very serious.

Robert Deniro was on the poster, too--he had granny glasses on his nose and a wise senior English teacher air about him. When I woke up he was loading a dryer and talking to Dawson.

dreams...they can come true--ueee

I just fell asleep while reading.

Had a dream that I founded the Horse's Ass Drama School.

I'm awesome.

1/28/06 - nightmares & head pain

January 28, 2006 - Saturday

7:13 PM - nightmares Current mood: restless Just woke up after a 2 1/2 hour nap--a well-deserved one, I might add for the benefit of all you anti-lazy folk. My sleep was riddled with terrible nightmares. One of the last sensations was of me grabbing my mom by the back of the head: she was supposed to give my sister & me a ride somewhere but left us, maybe because we were running late. I chased after her and realized that she was in a car full of friends, not interested at all in having us in tow. I grabbed for her and vividly felt my hands graze the bottom of her hair, feeling & hearing it rip out as the open-air car rolled off down the street and away from me. She was laughing with her friends and didn't look back. I wish this had been all, but really my unrelaxing rest was brimming with horrific, realistic images. I don't feel rested at all and instead feel on-edge, suspecting that these sentiments and sensations will haunt me for the rest of the evening.

2:04 AM - owww, part II. Another weekend night o' head pain, but I muddled through and had a blast out with Tamara & Nancy, going to the Manhattan & eventually to Little Kings for a bit of a dance party where I did not dance. I am keeping up with my mundane "migraine journal" moderately well but can't seem to pinpoint why I have had extra pain for the last couple of weeks. It could very well be that I have simply re-entered school mode, where I have my daily headache but to a more persistent & noticeable degree than I have it during vacation times. In any case, I'm sick of it, but thinking of other friends' (and strangers', I suppose) health issues, I realize that I have things pretty good. That being said, I wish I could go out and not have the loud music make my brain throb and not have a whiff of cigarette smoke make my brain feel as if it has a knife sticking through its left side. Tomorrow there's a full day of Ropes activities for me--a training day, so I can't make the bucks I made today. I look forward to it. I wonder why I wrote this instead of just going to bed when I'm so tempted to bitch about how tired I am. J. Evelyn rarely makes sense, even to herself. Words to live by. Currently listening : No Need to Argue By Cranberries Release date: 04 October, 1994

1/14/06 - snippets from two dreams

January 14, 2006 - Saturday

10:31 AM - snippets from two dreams 1. There's a small, brightly colored bird sitting on the edge of a wooden walkway, one of those walkways where there are long, worn, splinterless two by fours lining the walk at hand level. Someone (who?) tries to enrapture his bored audience by speaking to the bird; instead of copying him or responding with a wry comment, the bird squawks tunelessly and looks everywhere but at the man. Trying something new, he attempts a sleight of hand trick with the little bird, impressing no one. A taller, cockier 20-something man steps up and starts laughing at the bird; the bird, to everyone's surprise, cackles in response, sounding like a maniacal child. Using an arrogant look to get everyone's attention, this stand-in magician begins his trick to prove that he is superior. He folds his arms behind him, bends sharply at the waist, and captures the bird in his mouth completely. He stands straight up with a deliberately goofy look in his eyes, cheeks puffed out. Then he bends down, opens his mouth gently, and deposits the little bird back onto the ledge. I had this dream the night before last and didn't think much of it, as it is just as strange as most of my dreams. Yesterday afternoon I startedreading Nancy's copy of The Magician's Assistant and came across this excerpt, which I hadn't peeked at before my dream. Bird-in-mouth isn't exactly a common literary theme. "There were meticulous records of purchase dates and rates of exchange, employee 1040s that she thought she probably should send to someone. In other drawers she found notes on magic, mostly descriptions of other magicians, tricks he'd liked and wanted to figure out later: 'From his mouth he expelled eleven yellow finches, one at a time, his arms straight out to either side.' " -p. 32, Ann Patchett 2. This morning, between hits of the snooze button, I was having one of my monumentally long dreams that, in ways I don't understand, are related to my old house and neighborhood in Chamblee. A teenage girl, one I knew somehow, was pissed off at her family since they didn't seem to want to do what she was interested in on vacation. She decided to go snorkeling on her own and took this strange parachuted trip over the ocean. She made the parachute collapse when she was over the coral reef and plummetted through the air until she smashed into the ocean, barrelling down into the depths quickly. I wasn't her, but I felt the sensation of not being able to breathe and of water rushing up all around me. An omniscient voiceover said something like, "Soon, you'll be lifted up and will start to feel air in your snorkel tube. You'll reach the surface of the water and begin snorkeling." She/I started to rise in the water, traveling so long that I thought my lungs would explode. I still grasped the snorkeling mouthpiece in my teeth, and soon felt it bubbling with air. The water was getting brighter, so I knew I/she/we were reaching the surface. Then, right when I thought I'd be able to take a deep breath, I was trapped. Somehow, someone had deposited a GIGANTIC 3-D statue of a spacegirl-scubadiver underwater, complete with a bubbled-out, glass face mask. I was stuck under that giant bubble, and looked around to see many other snorkelers who had been dropped in the wrong spot and had never surfaced. It went on and on of course, but that's all I'll report. Try figuring out that one, ladies and gentlemen. No reason to write these down here except to...well....I thought they were very odd dreams and wanted to remember them. Might as well do so in a public forum. Currently reading : The Magician's Assistant By Ann Patchett Release date: 17 September, 1998