whew!

I just finished copying and pasting all of my blogs from myspace.com over to blogger. I didn't realize the venture would take hours to accomplish! In that time I got to reminisce, though, and lord knows I love to do that. It was a little different from going back through old journals in that I don't get too personal in terms of emotions and personal situations when I'm writing blog entries. I'm concerned for others' feelings as much as my own when I'm writing in a public forum, I think. I'd hate for my family, my dear friends, or my darling significant other to come across something that seemed to me inoffensive at the time I was writing but has inadvertently wounded them. That would be the worst.

In a sense, the fear of others' perceptions is one of the many things holding me back from writing. I in no way can blame this as the primary force, however. Still, though, that fear is present. I don't want my parents to be upset by ways in which my characters talk; I don't want old friends to be upset if I do what I'm often inclined to and write semi-autobiographically about my childhood home and neighborhood. I want to get some details right and want to deliberately mess with other ones. In screwing with the past I might forget it, and I don't want to. As the one who seems to remember those times the best, the memory-keeper, I don't want to let go of all that.

Ah, I'll be quiet about all that now.

My sister's birthday is today. She's 32! Rosa is thirty-two. Hard to believe. Each time she has a birthday I think of the year we tried to have an impromptu surprise party for her on Ensign Court. I'm sure that Mike, Jeff, Meghan, Merry, and I were involved. Perhaps David Wishen was there, too. In any case, little Merry (who was only a year younger than I but always seemed so much smaller and wiry) just couldn't hold in the secret. Julie was out on the street playing some game--who knows what?--when Merry skimmed by on her bike, whispering harshly and quickly, "Surprisepartyforyoutoday." And there went the surprise. Ha.

My sister didn't pick up when I called. I didn't send her a card in time for her birthday, either. No reason, no excuse. I wanted to get her a present in time to send with the card, but I've not found a good one yet. So instead of just sending a thoughtful card first and a gift later, I sent nothing. Not a sisterly thing to do. Oops. I feel bad.

Goodnight. I'm being a Saturday night hermit after a lazy day with Jim.