jannygirl: 1/18/06 - threatening words if I ever heard 'em

Friday, October 12, 2007

1/18/06 - threatening words if I ever heard 'em

January 18, 2006 - Wednesday

7:16 PM - threatening words if I ever heard 'em

I'm not sure how old I was when I received my first chain letter in the mail. This was in the pre-email days, young ones, days when friends wrote letters more frequently and were patient enough to wait a few days to get a response. I was thrilled with the idea of this chain letter--if I just copied it out eight times and sent it to eight people and added my name to the list so that it was second from the bottom, I would get seven thousand letters within a week!

My parents' first step was to show me how the formula would break down if even a couple of people in the chain didn't participate. They also pointed out that the threatening words at the end of the letter, words that suggested I'd be a bad friend with bad luck forevermore if I were to break the chain, were rude and--come to think of it--not very friendly.. Maybe I was enough of a cheapskate even then that their last major point of argument is what really hit home: "Do you really want to ask eight of your friends to spend their time and their own money on mailing out eight letters?" Why, no! I certainly did not.

Since I first acquired a family-shared email address (geddis@prodigy.net, I think 'twas--we're talkin '92 or so), I have been smacked with a barrage of forwards and chain letters that make me want to scream. Most of my friends know by now that sending me a forward is a big, fat mistake, as these emails merely serve to piss me off and make me wonder why I'm not getting a quick, personal note from a friend instead of a note someone originally wrote and forwarded years ago. When I do get forwards chock full of inspirational stories, I'll be the first to burst the proverbial bubble by finding out The Truth on www.snopes.com.

Now that I'm on myspace and have friends (and sweet cousins!) who enjoy passing around forwarded bulletins brimming with an ominous mixture of good luck wishes and evil curses (depending on the reader's reaction to said bulletin, of course), I see once again the humor and stupidity of these notes.

To close, I will quote the last three cryptic lines of the bulliten I just received that encouraged me to admit that I had a crush. Since I didn't do my part in continuing the chain, here's what I can look forward to:
IF YOU BREAK THIS
YOU WILL HAVE
THE WORST LIFE STARTING NOW

Shit. I guess life's about to get rul tough, y'all.