very angry that I have a SUPERIOR computer

Georgia libraries now offer this AMAZINGLY EXCITING program where you can borrow audiobooks from an online library using your library card and...oh wait...your PC. That's right, it's for PCs and PCs only, and I couldn't be more frustrated. You'd be hard pressed to find an Athenian more excited than I about this venture. And of course the damned thing doesn't work with my computer.

Angrily yours,

J.E.G.

my lava lamp and other forgotten boredom-busters

Last night I rediscovered my old lava lamp. In eighth or night grade, the lava lamp with red lava (or was it a red base?) was my most coveted item to be found at Spencer Gifts at North Point Mall. I wanted a lava lamp. I needed one. I would not accept one unless it was silver and red.

When I saved up enough money to get one (or convinced my parents to donate to the cause), I found that Spencer's only had silver lamps with black lava. I dropped my stubbornness and got that one--such was my desperation.

In the last ten years, I've probably turned it on once. Many are the times I've thought of selling it or giving it away but a, who would buy it? and b, WHY WOULD I GIVE AWAY ANYTHING THAT I MIGHT POSSIBLY USE ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE?*

Today I plugged the old girl in. I'd forgotten how gross and blobby it looks for the first twenty or thirty minutes. Yech.


* This is my general policy and results in my having a three-bedroom house filled to the brim with my own crap. Crap that I love.

accidental drunk

From an email I composed 12/6/2006:

Ah, the lovely prospect of a tall glass of 100% good-for-the-soul-and-bladder cranberry juice on a Monday afternoon when you've slept little and worked all afternoon with whiny tutees, as we are wont to call the oft-bratty children Janet tutors at the elementary school. Craving a glass of orange juice but knowing there is none in her fridge, Janet is thrilled when she encounters a jug of cranberry juice at her fingertips. "Ah," thinks she, "someone brought this as a mixer for last night's shindig." She pours a tall--and I mean tall--glass for herself and chugs it down. Before the cranberries can register, she pours another half-glass and chugs that.

"Ah, what a lush am I!" Janet muses. "I so rarely drink cranberry juice now, and the only time I consume it is about once every month or two at the Flicker Bar when it's mixed with a little touch o' vodka. I'm so conditioned that I am now convinced that this here cranberry juice tastes like alcohol. How embarrassing!"

Then, in a hazy flash (ah, can a flash be hazy? trust me, it can), it occurs to her: BONNIE. Bonnie is the culprit. Or at least Bonnie's mixed drink. She remembers her dear advisor having walked in the house the night before announcing something to the effect of, "This looks innocent enough, but really this juice has..." (The ellipses is meant to include all the sorts of alcohol Bonnie stashed in the innocent-looking juice jug.)

So, folks, that is the story of how a very tired Janet accidentally did shots of alky juice at 6:15 on a Monday night and got drunk in a jiffy.

Thanks, Bonnie.

Love,

Janet

Program Me In

You have to see this new Je Suis France video. My friend Jeremy Wheatley has been hiding away writing songs for a long time, but only recently has he started playing the gee-tar and singing for his adoring fans.

He's in an awesome band called Je Suis France, and he's the star of the new video. I LOVE this video. The song is really cool, too.

THE END.

Did you see me on TV?

Tonight's (Wednesday's) David Letterman show features Dave talking about the quilt my aunt made him as well as a little zoomed-in shot of Jim and me in the audience. (I'm opened-mouthed, surprised he mentioned Auntie Dorothy despite my having reminded him of the gift she gave him years ago.)

Here you can read about my stardom. Clips are unavailable, much to my fans' chagrin.

http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/wahoo/index/php/20080507.phtml

The end.

Love,
superstar

fortunista Janny

By the way, this photo was of me when I was PRACTICING my look two days before the event. My real fortune teller self did not look like a drag queen. The outfit and scarf were different and made me look like A GEN-YOO-INE GYPSY. Really. I just don't have any pictures.
I would like you all to know that I just ran into one of the girls whose fortune I read at the Homeless Day Service Center Benefit. She and I recognized each other but weren't sure how we knew each other. Finally I said, "Oh! Did you have your fortune told?" (HOW DID I KNOW THAT?!)

The answer was yes. She told me the fortune was really good. Turns out I have amazing skills when it comes to saying what people want to hear. Ta da!

foodie

Asian Noodle Bowl (complete with chopsticks I usually use to stir tea!)

Garlic Shrimp with linguine

Two hairy guys eat my food and claim to like it.

Brown rice, zucchini + broccoli all spiced up, and herb baked crunchy chicken

Delicious Hummus of my dreams

I started cooking in the last few months. Turns out I'm not all that bad! Also turns out it takes forever to load photos onto blogger. (Anyone know how to speed up that process?)

things that are okay if you're with someone but sad if you're alone

Here is a very long list of things that are okay to do if you're with someone but a tad heartbreaking if you're alone.

Please feel free to add to my list of camaraderie and pain.

1. Feverishly scratching lottery tickets

dreaming of Dawson

Right before waking this morning, I had a dream in which the faces from a Dawson's Creek poster started moving and speaking from the poster--and then they hopped off and went to the laundromat and pontificated on everything (of course). The real poster, I've found, is of normal color--in my dream, it was sepia and very serious.

Robert Deniro was on the poster, too--he had granny glasses on his nose and a wise senior English teacher air about him. When I woke up he was loading a dryer and talking to Dawson.

I can't even deal

I can't stand Tyra Banks. I feel I cannot reiterate this enough.

Zingo in ATHENS!!!

A couple weeks ago, I called Zingo for the first time. I'd first heard about it in Paste and was eager to try it. Here's the deal: you go out, have as many (or as few) drinks as you'd like, and make the smart choice of not driving home with alcohol in your system. You call Zingo. Someone arrives on a collapsible scooter within a certain amount of time (times vary according to which city you're in). The person grabs your keys, puts the collapsible scooter in your trunk, and drives you home in YOUR car. Then he/she gets out, hands you the keys, and removes the scooter. Driver makes his or her way to the next pickup, and you go in, knowing your car is safe at home and that you won't have to worry about being arrested or, as a less drastic option, about having to figure out how you're going to get her car the next day.

Joy!

Last-last Saturday night in Atlanta, Amy, her beau, and I waited at a bar for awhile until our driver showed up. He drove us home safely and quickly. It was over $40 because the bar was several miles from Amy's. (In Atlanta, the service is $30 flat, plus $2/mile and tip.) The article I've linked to at the end of this post shows it's cheaper for us Athenians! ;)

I asked our driver if there was a Zingo in Athens yet, and he said that, last he'd heard, it wasn't in my lovely town yet.

Imagine my joy when I stumbled upon this!

JSYK: themigrainegirl.blogspot.com is where it's at!

Hi guys,

I haven't been writing on here much, but I have kept up my anonymous-until-recently blog! It's really is a project for me that has ended up benefiting lots of migraineurs as well as my family and friends, who want to understand my Migraine disease better.

Have at it if you'd like: http://themigrainegirl.blogspot.com